Well, despite promising to take some time off from competition barbecue, I find it very hard to keep my mind off of cooking. Ways to refine my recipes, ways to further maximize my cooking area, and so on. It's like a disease!

Anyway, to pass the time until April, I thought I'd start a list of tips for upstart teams. Hopefully I can add to it over the next few months...

* Never drink as much as the other guy (some neighbors make that easier than others)

* Always tighten up your belt before crunch time. Losing your pants while slicing brisket is bad for all involved

* Always set up next to better teams so you can secretly tape their methods

* Never assume that woman who wanders into the park at 2am was simply born with man hands and an Adams apple

* Always carry a fake doctors note about your urinary tract disfunction for the cop who catches you peeing on a tree in the middle of the night because the port-o-potties were too far away

* Never buy spare ribs from a guy in a van down by the river

* Always make sure you're speaking to a BBQ affeciando before asking if he likes to "smoke meat"