The Barbecue Commandments

  1. You shall not call it barbecue unless it is created low-and-slow.
     
  2. You shall not make for yourself any false barbecue, or any likeness of anything that is barbecue related with the assistance of boiling, broiling, or liquid smoke; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For we, the barbecue cooks of the world are purists and are all sharing of tips and techniques  to those who wish to learn the ways of true barbecue and keep thy commandments.
     
  3. You shall not take the name of the barbecue in vain, for the true cooks will not hold him guiltless who takes its name in vain.
     
  4. Remember to keep holy any and all days you are able to cook low-and-slow.  You shall labor and do all your work, but you shall find time to cook ribs, cook brisket, cook pork shoulders, chuckies, fatties and other smoked delights whenever possible to keep your mind free and your belly happy.
     
  5. Honor your smokers and your grills, that Matchlight and lighter fluid shall not touch their surfaces and that they shall be cleaned and cared for so that they can give their bounty for generations to follow.
     
  6. You shall not murder vegetables.
     
  7. You shall not commit adultery by frequenting mass produced barbecue chains or buying prepackaged barbecue products from the refrigerated sections of thy grocery purveyors.
     
  8. You shall not steal recipes, tips or techniques but instead ask for assistance and share thy knowledge with other future novices.
     
  9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor regarding thy barbecue techniques and skills.
     
  10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s smoker, pit or grill; you shall not covet your neighbor’s brisket, nor his pulled pork, nor his ribs, nor his ox, nor his lamb, nor anything that is your neighbor’s barbecue unless it is far superior to yours and he is willing to share.

Posted by Smoke In Da Eye at 2/3/2009 8:45 AM
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: barbecue commandments barbeque commandments BBQ commandments 10 commandments
 

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